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26 October 2015 @ 09:28 pm
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30 August 2014 @ 12:46 am
Ethan Wilde

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07 August 2014 @ 09:51 pm
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04 August 2014 @ 02:34 am
Because of you sexy teaser
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04 July 2014 @ 05:14 pm
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15 June 2014 @ 02:05 am
big givaway

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04 December 2012 @ 04:50 am
Current Mood: productive
Current Music: Far Far in my head

So, tonight the fiance and I were talking. We've hit a rough patch financially (he got laid off over a month ago and I've been home with the baby since she was born) and tonight we were finally revisiting the "what do I want to be when I grow up?" conversation. We've been here before, but back when we were dating and he was trying to impress me. Me, I could give a shit less about impressing people and merely stated my mind, but since I've had the baby, the previous grad school idea seems thoroughly out of reach, at least for the present time. As far as being a novelist, although I never admitted it aloud or anything, I quietly gave up on that idea some time ago. I've barely written a word since the baby was born; she's very demanding.
But as we were having this conversation, I found the old "writer" thought resurfacing a bit. It's probably because I've just spent so much of my life honing this skill--and then to have to say, "Well, I could probably be a college guidance counselor or work in human resources"? Yuck. That is not all I want in life. It doesn't even make sense to me to spend over a decade of my life practicing the skill of writing to just... do nothing with it. Granted, I've already touched lives with my stories, mostly Because of You, and that was certainly not for nothing... but I had given up on getting anything published. The thought flickered through my mind, "If I could just come up with a publishable idea in a specific genre..." My problem is that my ideas are often outside of those boxes, and you can't sell a book that you can't categorize.
At any rate, as I was rocking my baby to bed I reopened the "writer" portion of my brain just a little, just experimentally, to see if anything was hiding in there, and I began going over possible potential titles, of all things, and then I was struck with an idea.
Instead of trying to compromise my voice and fit it into a typical box of a character I wouldn't like (and therefore wouldn't likely stick with), what if I harnessed that voice? What if I put a little bit of that part of me into writing? The other times in my life I've put pieces of myself into my writing--be it on this journal, or in an unpublished story--people have primarily responding very well. People have been amused, intrigued, whatever.
And so, although I can't promise to stick with it, given that my daughter doesn't even let me put my Coke rewards into the computer without whining because I'm not holding her, I do have an idea of a story that a.) I could write, b.) I could categorize, and c.) I might be able to get published. So, I am going to sign off (yes, it's nearly 5 am....) and go see about starting that while the little one is asleep, and hopefully I don't abandon it!
♥ Sam ♥
09 November 2012 @ 11:06 pm
Current Mood: fine
Current Music: Does Jon Stewart in the background count?

♥ Sam ♥
17 August 2012 @ 11:05 pm
Current Mood: a little nauseated/a lot confused
Current Music: crickets

"Like a fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head!"

So, a couple of days ago I planned on coming on here to gush about my 8-week old daughter, to share how amazing she is and how fantastic life is because she's awesome, and I love her more than words can express...

But then tonight I went on Facebook to send a friend a message and I saw that there was a message in my "other" folder. I went to see what it was and it was a girl named Heather. At first, I didn't know who the hell she was, figured it was spam, until I saw my fiance's name. What it was... was an "I would want someone to tell me" letter from a girl Jeremy went out with years ago, and a message she claims came from Jeremy. I read it closely, a.) to see what it said, and b.) to see if it sounded like Jeremy/matched his texting mannerisms. It's possible. It isn't far off. Also, there's one thing she said that I can't dispute: that he went on my account and blocked her page (she created a page to message me). I never blocked her page. However, in my privacy settings, she is on my blocked list.

That.. is a problem. Since it was sent a month after our daughter was born, and it had "I still have strong feelings for you" and other similar obnoxiousisms. Also, said she was gorgeous, but really she's fat and fugly.

I'm not really sure what to do. I told her to send me the rest of the message, and I guess I'll play it by ear...

But if that's true, that sucks, because I gave my daughter his last name against my better judgement. I can have it changed, but still. Fucking annoying. And hurtful. Wouldn't be the first lie he's told me, though. (He has told me since we met that this person is his stalker, once ran and hid when she came into the bookstore, and vocally agrees with me about her being fugly. But Mike said the same thing about Jessica.